NirMeleth - Das Eckenforum

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Chuck Norris once killed True Sansha Lord with Miner I.

Chuck Norris' ship has 101% armor and shield resistance.

Chuck Norris drains cap from 10 AU.

CONCORD is afraid of Chuck Norris.

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Dear Mr. Pierce,

there is an important matter that urgently requires your immediate action. My main character is involved in a large corp of skilled PvP players who routinely make life hell for corporations like yours - be it a merc contract from other corps who defend or plan to expand their economic interests or just for fun. The reason I have contacted you is to offer a choice not commonly offered:

according to my records your corp is currently on the target list and will be wardec'd as our current target gives up and pays the half billion ransom fee. As a Senior Military Officer I have the power to rectify this situation and remove you from the list permanently. Please make a one-time payment to this character of 30,000,000 isk listing your corp name as the subject of the transaction.

This money will be used as your insurance, and I will personally modify our priorities to be sure that your corp is removed from our target list within a few days after receiving the 30 million isk.

Dont think twice, it is absolutely sure that you cannot afford the risk and potential destruction of your haulers / mining ops / pos equipment / constant harrassment and station camps. I will not offer you this opportunity again and your corp will not be notified before it will go wardec'd.

I will not divulge the participants in this matter as it is not in my best interests to do so and may compromise my true identity.

Thank you for your attention to this urgent matter,

Yours Sincerely:

Vito Vendetti

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My reply:

Dear Mr. Vendetti,

there is an important matter that indeed urgently requires your immediate action. My main character is involved in a large conglomerate of alliances that has more PvP players and covers more timezones than your wannabe empire-pirate corp could ever hope to and that routinely annoys corps like yours by camping you in your cozy empire stations 23/7 if we have nothing else to do. The reason I have replied is to offer you a choice not commonly offered:

According to my records your corp is about to be crushed and ripped appart because their fail attempts at extorting pocket-change amounts of isk from people you should not be fucking with. As a Senior Military Officer I have the power to rectify this situation and remove you from our retard-list immediately. Please take your most expensive ship - which would be something along the lines of a Navitas with cargo-hold expanders you use for snagging ore from noob miners all day - and selfdestruct it immediately.

This act will serve as an insurance so you have to spend the next year saving up for a new ship instead of trying to play Mr. Privateer. Right after you send me a screenshot of your ship going up in flames I will remove you from our retard-list as soon as I can breathe again because I am laughing so hard.

Don't think twice, it is absolutely sure that you cannot afford the risk and potential destruction of your Navitas, your civilian-blaster fitted noobship, complete humiliation and hours of boredom as you have to stay docked up and file petitions because youporn.com does not work in your eve-browser. I will not offer this opportunity again and your corp will not be notified before we send each and every one of you back to your cloning facilities.

I also will not divulge the participants in this matter as it will be far more fun for us if you actually try and go forward with setting the date for your own execution.

Thank you for your attention to this urgent matter,

Yours Sincerely:

BF Pierce

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Zitat von Slade Hoo

Ich bin ein Amarr-Irokese! Und was spielst du?